naruto randomness
by PetrifiedKit
Summary: no story line, just random naruto skits that i came up with in my free time, part one of my random one shots. naruhina, sasOc, saku bashing, nejiten, shinoOc, and pimp master shikamaru, review


Naruto Randomness 1

sasukes explanation

konoha village

for the citizens of the leaf village it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the temperature was in the late 70's. Birds were chirping and little kids were running around playing ninja enjoying the day while there parents sat back and talked about there life. As all this took place a man located in the tower in the center of the village stared out in wonder and pride as he decided to procrastinate a bit from the mounds of paper work that was located on his desk. "dobe I would suggest you get back to your paper work or you just might get stuck here working through the night" was spoken from a corner in the room as the man turned back to his desk and continued on the paper work. "teme didn't I tell you that when you speak to me on body guard duty I wanted you to actually speak to me in person and not using the camouflage jutsu" the man said as he looked up to the shadow and back down to the papers. In the corner of the room instead of a shadow stood a man in anbu armor with a duck mask. "so tell me sasuke you being a man of 23 years old why arnt you married yet, anbu captain is a pretty risky job even as the hokages body guard, why don't you find a nice lady friend settle down, become a jounin sensei to some genin and provide the village wit the little emo kids they have been wanting for years." the man working at the desk asked of his body guard placing a stack of paper in the finished stack and starting to work on the papers of the next pile. "well naruto the reason is that ever since I was the little emo bastard you remember so fondly off I was chased by surprising skilled fan girls who only wanted me for my children I have grown to hate konoha women and the ones in konoha who arnt fan girls are already taken, neji has ten-ten, you have hinata, and sakura just plain crazy made worse by her inhuman strength taught to her by tsunade" saskue responded back to narutos question as he grabbed a seat on the couch and took off his make and sighed. "so what you are saying due to all of the fan girls being fucking psychotically crazy and determined caused you to turn gay" naruto said with a laugh reading over a proposal to create a class curriculum not based on a set standard for each possible genin in the academy but based on testing to see what each student is skilled at and weak at and to work harder on those areas, it was automaticaly approved giving naruto the feeling that there will now be a stronger gen of ninja for the next class. "no dobe it just that I find foreign girls more attractive and stronger then a konoha girl" saskue responded back with a blush remembering the last time he visited the lightning village during one of his anbu trips. The hokage laughed at his friends response and the depression that will hit the village once that tiny bit of info got public. "let me guess its the chase you enjoy, and u can only get that from a foreign village were the girls don't know who you are and arnt willing to throw themselves at you" naruto said as he continued on with his paper work with a fire jutsu. "finally someone who understands my point, that and the chicks often have better assets then the chicks here" saskue responded back as he pulled out a kunai and started to clean out under his fingernails. "so tell me saskue whats your favorite village to chose a chick from" naruto asked of his friend looking through his stack of political marriages finding one that suited his friend the best. "i would have to say the lightning, there chicks have the nicest asses around and there dark skin color is so hot" saskue respond back to his friend wondering what his response back was going to be. 'that's funny cause saskue just made today so much easier for me' the hokage thought as he read through the folder that he was currently holding. "you just made today for me so much easier teme, I would have to thank you" the hokage said with a hearty laugh as he placed the folder down on the desk after approving it and looked at his friend. "and dobe why would that be" saskue asked his friend with a curious look wondering why his friend laughed and at his weird response. _"lord hokage the representative from raigakure has arrived would you like for me to send them into your study know or later." _shizune said as she spoke through the intercom. "you can send her right in, thanks" naruto responded back as he pressed the button on his desk to a activate the intercom on his side of the office. Both of the men in the room looked at the door as the door started to open. As the door opened a dark skinned women entered the room looking to have a talk with the hokage. The sight of the women left sasuke stunned as he could not find the right words to even talk to her even if he could. "rai-mei I would like to welcome you to konoha and hope your stay here will satisfactory" the hokage said as he said as he bowed down to the representative from one of his newer allies. "judging by the way your village welcomed me and the way you are treating me even though I am a foreigner, I would have to say that I am going to have a good time"rai-mei said as she smiled making sasuke blush a form of red only scene on hinata during her academy and genin years. "all right down to business, rai-mei you are here for a political marriage and I would like you to meet your husband who is over there blushing on the couch" naruto said with a smile as sasuke looked at his best friend in disbelief at how he just managed to get the hottest chick he has ever saw just by doing nothing. "h-hi I am sas-sasuke" sasuke stuttered trying not to embarrass himself in front of his apparent wife. "aight lord hokage its was good meeting you, and I will see you later cutie" rai-mei said as she left enjoying the blush that she caused on the anbu-captains face. "dobe I don't know whether to thank you are to kill you for making me embarrass myself in front of my future wife" sasuke said as as the color in face started to drain away. "yeah yeah what ever you should be thanking me cause thanks to me you have a wife and a end to the fan girls either by they realizing you are take or by your wife cutting some heads" naruto said with a laugh as he finished up his paper work. "either way you are going to break some hearts tomorrow" naruto said as he walked out the door. The next day all that was heard was a scream across the elemental nations as the hearts of 95% of konohas female population broke.


End file.
